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What to do when you have done something you regret!

If you live long enough, you will for certain say something or do something that you regret! Perhaps your words have hurt someone’s feelings or you have done something to someone that you know wasn’t right. Here is how to take positive steps to fix the situation or at least do what is right.

  1. Recognize your part in what you said or did. Ask yourself:”What was the reason , or was there a reason you did this to someone”? This is important so you can understand what emotion triggered your response.
  2. After you have done a review and understand your part, see if there is a pattern in your behavior that triggered it. What were you doing when this happened? Were you drinking too much or smoking to much? Were you in a weakened state when this behavior occurred? Were you angry, tired, or hurt?
  3. Chances are this might be a pattern so immediately take steps to minimize this behavior in the future. This is done by a pain/pleasure scale. Is the pleasure of having a few drinks (lets say) worth the pain of what you caused? Engage your intellect so that the next time you are in this pattern, you take guard of your senses.
  4. Go to the person you hurt personally and apologize. Don’t text them or call them. Go and admit to them the reasons why you did this. Chances are they will forgive you if you show remorse for your actions. Without remorse, there is no change of behavior.
  5. Once you apologize, now it just takes time to prove you are on a better path. Remember, we all make mistakes so don’t beat yourself up to death. Remember that they also are dealing with some issue. Maybe different from yours, but in God’s eyes, maybe just the same.
  6. Change your behavior so that others can see that you are sorry. Become better from this experience, not bitter. Don’t hide from people over it, but love more.
  7. And last, remember that forgiveness is a release for you and for the one you hurt. Forgiveness allows each of you to move forward. Without forgiveness, neither of you can move forward.
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Getting Back on Track!

I will start this post by apologizing for my brief departure from posting. As many of you know, I am working to bring my mom home from the memory care facility. If I ever needed leadership skills, I will will need them now! I am still trying to work from home and will now will hope to bring my mom home to live with me. She will be turning 90 in December and I want to make sure we can spend quality time together. Because covid, we couldn’t see mom. IT was a terrible 3 months for sure. Not only are these folks already isolated, we were told we couldn’t see them. While I understand the reasons, still it was a terrible time. So, I am hoping now to get back to my posting and hopefully give you some valuable insights on how to deal with this next phase of my life. Stay tuned!

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Is YOUR “Why” serving a purpose?

It is often said that if you lose your “why” in life, you will lose your “way” in life! We live in a country where sometimes we believe our “why” is to have more stuff. Or to have a bigger house or drive a better car! But only to find that the bigger house, the better car or the fancy vacation is only short lived. The bigger question is to ask:” Why am I here?” Am I fulfilling my calling in life? What are my gifts and talents and am I using them to fulfill my purpose in life? Here are a few questions to help you understand your “why”:

  1. Are you working each day to increase your awareness of yourself? Are you teachable, humble, open, listening, prayerful?
  2. Think about times in your past when you were fully engaged in living your dream, in flow, energetic and positive. How and who did this impact? Was it Glorifying God? Were you helping others? If it glorifies God, you are probably in your “why”.
  3. Make a list of your gifts and talents and then find a few people who know you and ask them what they think are your gifts and talents. It is important to not to feel criticized, but make a point for open discussions. Take this feedback seriously to see if there is a gap between what others think and what you think your gifts and talents are.
  4. Make a list of what you think your “why” values are. From this list, it will help you define your “why” clearly. After you write it out on paper, ask yourself:”Is this correct? Is this why I get up every morning?”
  5. Keep working on trying to define your “why” and before you know it, your “way” will become clearer. Use your “why” to build your platform, launch a new career, or take steps in a new direction. Remember, people will be attracted to your “why” if it glorifies God.
  6. Your “why” is full of energy, passion and power and you will know when you are in harmony with your “why”
  7. NEVER EVER OUTSOURCE YOUR WHY! NEVER OUTSOURCE THE CREATION OF YOUR PURPOSE!

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How to Live the Abundant Life

I often think about the words of Henry David Thoreau: “The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation”. When I was younger, I thought about those words and couldn’t understand them at all. It just made sense to me that the reason men live in quiet desperation was caused by their own actions. So if you don’t want to live this way, you must change it. And for the most part, that is correct. And now at 60, I am truly interested in the abundant life and how to achieve it. Let me give you a few ideas on how to achieve it.

  1. Do an inventory of your gifts and talents. Make sure that you have a clear understanding of the gifts and talents you have been given.
  2. Apply those gifts and talents to your work. Ask yourself if your “why” is being fulfilled? When you understand your “why”, you will find a clear “way”.
  3. Most of what we fought for growing up, may not necessarily make you happy and fulfilled today.
  4. Perhaps its time for some changes in your habits, thoughts, and relationships.
  5. Start to think about life from a eternal perspective. Make sure you are storing up treasures that will benefit you in your next life.
  6. Remember, that when you die, you can take nothing with you. So, are you living a life that helps others? Are you helping to make others happy? Are you giving from a warm hand instead of a cold hand?
  7. Love more, give more and forgive more. Remember that is truly all that you can give.
  8. Find a group that builds your spiritual muscle. Its impossible to live the abundant life if you are not feeding your soul.
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How to Overcome Troubles In Life

We all know that if you live long enough, you will encounter troubles. The issue is not “IF” troubles come, but “WHEN” will troubles come! But why do some people seem to handle troubles and get through them with peace and others are consumed with troubles and become negative? The answer is given in a person’s perspective. It has often been said if you change your thoughts, you change your life! And that couldn’t be more true here. Its all about seeing the Bigger Picture in life and knowing where you going! If you tend to think that all you have is your troubles and then you die, you are for sure going to struggle. But knowing that all that happens to you will somehow allow you to see God’s glory, gives you a new perspective on those troubles. If you know that your struggles here on earth are just temporary, but your life in heaven is eternal, it gives you strength to press on and resist going down the path of negativity and fear. Thank you Pastor Jonathan for a powerful message this past week!

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7 Steps to getting yourself “UNSTUCK”

Are you one of those individuals that feels “stuck” in life and can’t seem to find the path forward? Do you find yourself getting angry at yourself while others seem to be just moving forward in life? Well, if that describes you, then may I suggest making a few changes in your daily habits. Here are the 7 P’s required in designing a new LifePlan for yourself:

  1. Purpose– We are all designed by God for a purpose in life. Its our job to cooperate with God to determine what our’s is. Remember, “when you loose your why in life, you often times loose your way in life”. Finding your purpose will help you get unstuck!
  2. Power– As you get older, some of the things that you used to do, now require more energy and power. You need to have power and energy to get unstuck. There are two kinds of power- your own and that coming from God. You need both!
  3. Plans– It is very important to reconnect with your “why” so that you can start executing your vision. But vision requires definite of purpose and plans. Aligning your why behind definite plans and executing those plans everyday will help you get unstuck.
  4. Passion-Nothing in life is more important than passion. Its passion that uses your giftedness. Its passion that creates desire and perserverance to keep going! When your stuck in life you need passion to get up each morning and face the tasks at hand. You need passion to work your plan even when you don’t feel like it.
  5. Pillars-you need a foundation to build your new life on. And a foundation requires pillars or core values. Go back and revisit what your core values are and write them down. Its your core values that guide your actions daily. Its your core values that drives your comeback.
  6. Platform-launching your new LifePlan to get unstuck has never been easier, but also never been harder. Your story, is your greatest asset and to launch your story you need a strategic platform to launch from. You need a following, a tribe, a group of folks who believe in what you have to say and do. Actively think about your platform and how you will launch.
  7. Prosperity-It is important to feel prosperity, significance and a sense of movement forward. We humans are designed to grow, to expand, to become and it is important to experience success in life at all ages and phases. The feeling of being prosperous is critical to our comeback, critical to getting unstuck and critical to your LifePlan.
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Why Quality Relationships Matter

It has been said that the quality of your life is very dependent on the quality of your relationships. In fact, if you look at the 5 most important relationships that you have, it will tell you something about yourself. If you hang with positive, energetic people, chances are you are one of those types. If you hang with lazy, low energy people, changes are you are like those types of people. So, it is critically important to choose your friends and partnerships wisely. Unfortunately, we live in a world today that places more emphasis on “stuff” rather than relationships. Today, many people view their success on the wrong things. Its about building and growing lasting relationships that will have the greatest impact on someone’s life.

Here are 3 questions you should ask yourself:

  1. What positive relational connections am I helping to create for the people I care about?
  2. What influence am I creating through my example and words?
  3. How deeply do I care about the people God has brought into my life?

(Taken from my pastor’s sermon series-Pastor Jonathan Schaeffer)

If you stop and think about those 3 questions, it might give you some direction on the impact you are making in someone’s life. And another question that you should ask yourself is: “How do I want to remembered when I die?” Do you want to be remembered as a cheap person, or a generous person? Do you want to be remembered as a selfish person or a kind and loving person? Do you have good relationships with your parents and siblings, or do you fight and argue any chance you speak with them. Our words matter and what we say can profoundly impact another person beyond what we can even imagine. Our relationship with our children has a significant impact on their emotional health, and the quality of their future relationships. So, take the time to see how you are impacting the people around you. Relationships do matter and the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life!

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How to Perform the Miracle of Multiplication…

The simple but difficult step necessary to perform the miracle of multiplication is the act of “giving thanks”. No matter how much you have or don’t have in your life at this very moment, just offer it up to God and give thanks for it. “Giving thanks is crucial to a life of fullness and blessing. On top of that, it also gives you the power to perform the miracle of multiplication.” The key is not to look at how little you have or how big your problem is or how impossible the situation is. “You lift it up to the God and you give thanks for it. And the blessings you have will multiply, if not in the world, then in your heart.” Taken from the Book Of Mysteries by Jonathan Cahn.